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Swirly Johanssen Is in Way Over His Swirly Head With Sultry Carolyn
Sultry Carolyn toys with her prey. For no amount of rosary bling can redeem the Swirl’s groinal aspirations.
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80s Preppies Live on In Europe
Europe has always been a few years behind on the douche trends. But three decades? Seems a bit much. Scandanavian Hott giggle sounds like a newborn wildebeest eating a truffle. Fact.
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The Smirkonomous Is Better Than You
The Smirkonmous Knows this. Because when the Smirkonomous pays for bottle service Ashley giggles and coos like a feral seal. This confirms the Smirkonomous’s genetic worth and validity to reproduce...
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The Smirkonomous Looks Forward to Seeing "Carlos Danger"
When not posing sexily in Cosby-era Christmas sweaters with delightful Nordic sucklebottoms such as Alica, The Smirkonomous is a big fan of the extended Marvel universe and is looking forward to...
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And then, in Germany, this happened.
Worst. Post-Holocaust. Germanic Atrocity. Ever. Well. Other than this guy. Poodles.
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Lex Doucher Plots World Domination, Luscious Maria Giggles
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my time on this earth, it’s never ever trust anyone who looks like a Germanic Hugh Laurie. Even when they don’t look particularly douchey. Something’s up. Luscious...
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Fritz Von Helmut Says "Guten Tag, Mein Hotties!"
Fritz Von Helmut has ze mad game, ya? What about Rusty, ya? He bringin und game too, ya? In an unrelated historical footnote, Fritz Von Helmut’s grandparents did not like my grandparents.
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That Greasy Eurodude And Librarian Hott Kelly at a Multicultural White Party
Hells if I remember these two as well. Alls I know is The Captain and Tennille are divorcing. So life has no meaning. Except, of course, for Librarian Hott Kelly’s hint of pokey cleavite. Wait, didn’t...
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Hans Klaussenn Vants You To Party Mit Greta on ze New Years
I can’t tell if it’s the furry leg boots, the weird water bottle utility belt, or the stench of post-Reich fascist mandated dance fun enveloping this lost, wayward collection of Nordic generibots that...
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Assmodious Von Shmegmoid Drinks Victoria’s Soul
Completing my half-assed, mailed in, one-post-a-month “Shmegma” trilogy here at Hot Chicks with Douchebags, please enjoy this creepy emo tattmodel scrotechoad using alien superpowers to drain the...
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